“If only I had waited on God.”
How many times have I said that to myself after I’ve barreled ahead of God and taken things into my own hands again, only to realize later that His timing would have been so much better?
Whether it’s taking a job I wasn’t really suited for, getting into a relationship that didn’t honor Him, or jumping to a conclusion that turned out to be wrong, I can point to impatience as the reason for my blunder in just about every case.
Henri Nouwen defines patience as “the discipline of seeing each moment as valuable”:
When I’m impatient, I’m looking to get out of the present moment.
Just today I read a blurb about another celebrity relationship unraveling. The woman had taken up with a much younger man as soon as her divorce was final. Now the younger guy was said to be cheating on her but she wasn’t ready to call it quits because, as her ‘friend’ told reporters, “She doesn’t like to be alone. I think he’ll be around until she finds a replacement.”
This celebrity finds being alone so painful, she’s going to keep this guy in her life who is making a fool of her until she finds someone to take his place, just so she doesn’t have to be by herself.
Sometimes we want out of the present moment because our culture has conditioned us to expect instant gratification. We’re just anxious to move things along more quickly, so we figuratively give God some “time off” and handle it ourselves.
But sometimes, the present is painful, so we craft our own solutions to avoid the pain, like this celebrity. We don’t want to be patient when there’s pain involved; we want to take that bull by the horns and make things better on our own, thank you very much, even if we know from past experience it may not turn out well if we do.
Sure, pain can be useful and even valuable. I get that. But when it comes right down to it, where am I supposed to get the patience to endure pain, even if I know there is a possibility the pain may turn out to be a “good thing” in the end?
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23
This is so great. As a follower of Christ, my life is about more than my comfort, it’s about being transformed into Christ’s image. But here’s the cool thing: I don’t have to “man up” and accomplish this on my own. God has given me his Holy Spirit. Godly characteristics are not the “fruit” of my own effort, they are the evidence of His Spirit in me. What a relief!
As I learn to let His Spirit inform my thoughts and guide my actions, He becomes my strength. I begin to have more patience (as well as the other traits in the verse above) when I depend on Him, instead of myself. I can then trust God to redeem my circumstances, rather than getting impatient and taking matters into my own hands. That’s a much better plan.
A thrilling P.S.:
Russell Moore, in his book Adopted for Life, notes that God builds anticipation and waiting into things for a reason. “There is something about patience that God deems necessary for our life in the age to come,” Moore says.
So perhaps it’s not just about producing spiritual fruit in this life, though that is reason enough. Maybe there’s a purpose in God wanting us to practice being patient that we can’t even understand now, something mysterious that will have meaning in eternity.
I don’t know about you, but I find that fascinating to think about.
What is the biggest challenge to your patience as a single? We’d love to hear your story in the comments below.
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/emmettdickie/4921238907/”>EmmettDickie</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photo pin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a>
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